tuesday loseday

blah. little miss sick face. my nose is running every second of every nanosecond. test tomorrow worth 25% of my mark that i'm feeling pretty confident about. the genius of it all is that it is a philosophy class so as long as i weave my bullshit web tight enough it will be easy peasy. i've been studying my face off for it though so that could have something to do with the confidence. 

after that daddy-o is taking me out for dinner. thia spring roll on the lakeshore. best thai restarant ever. cashew creamy vegtables here i come. mmmmmmmmm

 

tea for one please. who needs company when you have Descartes?

cutest little cafe in little italy. riviera cafe i believe its called. its in my old hood and i was feeling nostalgic. if you go early enough in the day the soup is always amazing and sold out by 2. I was in there at 4 ish and asked what the soup was, the lady guffed at me 'the soup is long over'. darn. 

bought THESE beauties. its a hint for my halloween costume. 

see how well they match?!?!!?!

sick + no makeup = no face

 

magic bullet dip sunday football overload

From the back and all homemade: garlic extreme guacamole, amazing made it again already black bean dip, and meh salsa (added to much garlic and blended it too much, was kind of like tomato garlic sauce, the consistency was all wrong). wash it all down with banana, strawberry, mango, V8 splash, vodka 'we must be at on vacation there is fruit hanging from the side of the glass' smoothies. 

the gum is for the six cloves of garlic that went into all this stuff.

this wasn't my first run with a magic bullet but it was the first time i used the recipe book to make anything. all i can say is UNTAPPED RESOURCE. that book is gold. oh and i also made cream of asparagus soup for dinner later. so easy...wash asparagus, break of the ends and toss them in the bullet, add a clove of garlic whole, chicken stock and cream and TA DA you made amazing-ness. oh and plus i added cheese, not on the recipe but turned out great.   

housewife weekend

i am making caramel cake right now. you know, on a saturday night. all the cool kids are doing it. and by doing it i mean NOT DOING ANYTHING ON A SATURDAY NIGHT. 

major recuperation is needed from last night. my liver and i are not on speaking terms. we have an abusive relationship but that bitch will never be able to leave me. wouldn't be the first time i kicked the shit out of it and won't be the last. sorry liver, one day drinking shots of whiskey and jagger won't be the highlight of my week but until then your in for a tough ride. 

i hope the cake turns out since i don't have a candy thermometer or milk. i'm using cream instead...

its supposed to look like this when its done. except that i'm baking three small cakes in my french onion soup dishes because a)i don't have a cake pan and b) my oven is a toaster oven/convection oven. 

i know i've been mouthing off on here about all the work i have put into my home so heres a little peak of whats been going on in the past few weeks...

doing dishes at 3:00am because i couldn't sleep. 

hung this from the ceiling myself wearing huge sunglasses so that the drywall dust didn't go in my eyes. mike holmes says to always wear protection. he probably wouldn't recommend using painters tape and one nail to hang this though. 

the plants are doing well...

blog central station. apparently purple helps creativity. 

kitchen with the toaster oven IN the regular oven. it was taking up too much counter space and since i only was using the toaster oven i decided to see if it fit inside the regular oven. IT DID! its also a convection oven so its really super handy and energy efficient. 

crazy pink bathroom that has totally grown on me since first painting it. i used to hate the colour, now...not so much. 

bedroom with a FIXED headboard that doesn't fall down every other second of the day. plus i made the headboard myself last year for under 50$. 

silk scarf artwork: 4$ value village. one day i will buy a cheap frame for it. 

world map is up and i covered my bulletin board in this awesome blue geometric fabric that used to cover my entire wall when i lived in residence. its kind of hard to see in this picture but its resting on the table. which by the way i painted purple from the left over paint from the bedroom. 

another silk scarf from value village and i finally got approval to paint these closet doors the same colour as the walls. they look a 100% better and make the room look a lot larger.

 

i want i want i want

from loyal loot collective

__________________________________________________________

To do before I die: Go to a strip club bahahaha

Have you ever wondered what its like to shower in heaven?

BECAUSE i can do that now. swooooooooon. 

some may debate that combining electricity and water= not the safest idea. but i think its damn purdy and so relaxing. and really? i am being totally shallow and unrealistic about this and maybe someone like that deserves a little shock to the system. i'll take my chances. 

I'm one test run in with these lights and i lived to tell you about it. 

and well... there are plenty of times i am not physically in the shower that i can enjoy this.

i was looking for a way to get more light in my bathroom without having to add a lamp. because i have limited vital counter space to contend with and loosing it would...well.. it just wasn't an option. the overhead light is blindingly bright and obnoxiously loud so this is a nice tranquil change to the anxiety inducing blare of the ceiling light. 

from the inside....
and it doesn't hurt that my shower blasts out at power-washer speeds. people have seriously taken showers in there and asked to be invited back it was so hot and awesome. can't beat the hot and awesome combo. 

 

Pining away in a heatwave

Can't stop can't stop can't stop listening to this song...scuse the actual video its a petite bit lame.

more to come latersss but its productivity hour over here and i'm going to make the most of it. 

this is actually a survey.

i borrowed my nana's second car and typewriter and have been enjoying using both.

heres some pictures of driving. there was construction blocking off three of the four lanes of the 401 so there was plenty of idle time to play with the settings on the camera.

there is just not enough time for things in the day. i think the changing of the seasons is bringing out this huge creative bubble in me. its like a spell. spells. i can't get over whimsical things like the spells. okay enough of that...

i have made huge progress in my apartment. screws have been coming out and new adorable things have been going up. i hand made three coat hooks from a tree that fell down at my cottage this weekend. pictures to come. (for real this time. i noticed going back i have a habit of promising pictures and not coming through.) i am so proud of them. also, i inherited four plants in two days. which kind of makes me a crazy plant lady but i'm in the denial stage right now so lets not talk about it. i water them all in a one liter wolf blass cabernet sauvignon with my super double strength or is it double super strength plant food. seriously this stuff is mental, it takes like ten iddy bitty crystals (like salt grain size), dissolve it in water and whola! your a crazy plant lady(!!!!!!!!). haaa no you just have awesome plants like me.



i have been listening to so much new pornographers lately. mainly because its been the only cd i've had in the car. can't decide if i like this video or not. it verges on creepy although i like how emotional it is. its confusing me because the effects were overdone (almost too overdone), yet at the same time i wanted more. if you dont understand what i'm saying you would not be the only one. anyway...great cd. the way each song works with the next song is awesome. i am not going to pretend to know things about music but from my basic knowledge i can tell it has 'flow'.


so remember when i said this was a survey? see right at the top there..did you just skim past that? i was serious. this was a test run of a new blogging 'style' (maybe would be the word.) i'm going to use my camera more and be a lot less like a diary. sorry...blame it on the typewriter but i am just in love with seeing my feelings on paper right now. so no more drama on here. for a while anyway....just happy stuff.


sorry i tried to make a survey but its way to late and my eyes are getting super squinty -and i'm blaming that entirely on the darkness the surrounds everything but my glowing white screen.

she keeps a picture of me in her apartment in the city

some things in this world they don't make sense, some things you don't need until they leave you...  they're the things that you miss. 

Baby, baby, baby, when all your love is gone, who will save me from all I'm up against out in this world?

Heres the thing....
I can't get over you. i've tried. i wanted to live the words that come out of my mouth. things are great i say, things have never been better. its not the same without you. i found this written in my notebook from some time last winter. its funny itsn't it, how everything changes but nothing really does. 
I miss the way your eyes look at me, I miss being in your heart. 
thinking about you, thinking about me. its never been the same since. 
Now i just feel so alone, standing here naked. empty inside and out. 
nothing to soothe me, nothing to lean on. 
i want to look out the window and see sunshine. i want my bright back. 
there was time to breath, time to think. there was progress to make and worlds to shake. 
now its just circles. 
the sun comes up but do you wake up? 

insert adjective here

off to the cottage to chop up maple trees and savour the end of summer.

i have a new friend at work and we talk about interior design and paint colours and how wallpaper can be awesome if its done properly. she just bought the apartment therapy book on my recomendation and is loving every second of it. we bonded through me one day seeing her on the apartment therapy website and i was like holy crap thats the best website EVER i am addicted and she screams ME TO. and that is the story of how we managed to waste two hours today talking about douvet covers and wall screens.

have a good weekend ya'll.

advertising is what happens on tv when people go to the bathroom

ahhhh.......feeling much better now. 

sorry for the freak out. i still act like a baby when things i was looking forward to are taken away from me. but in all fairness, dear president, i have been looking forward to this for uhh three weeks now? yes i believe this is the third time i've had to reschedule. so maybe, if i ask politely, you could forgive the out-lash of words directed towards you. seems all i have these days is words....

+++++

ive been reading a lot lately. filling my brain with all kinds of knowledge and inspiration. i enjoy reading. it makes me feel like i have a secret that others haven't found the answer to. 

Hey Whipple, Squeeze This by Luke Sullivan is by far the most valuable book i have read in a long time. i'm only 53 pages into its 300 pages of wisdom but i can already tell this is going to be a book that will never get dusty sitting on my bookshelf. its already filled with underlines and stars and anything worth going back to has a reverse dog ear at the bottom of the page. (there is a system, i'll explain it some other day)

Who should read this book? Writers or art directors who want to get into advertising. Writers or art directors who are already in advertising. Creative directors. Account service people. Agency presidents. Clients. If you work in advertising, with advertising, or around advertising, you owe it to yourself, your boss, and your clients to read this book.

so i am going to pass on some of this wisdom to whomever may stumble across this in internet world. 

The who, what, and why of advertising according to the first 53 pages of whipple.

who is advertising?

'advertising isn't just some mutant offspring of capitalism. it's one of the main gears in the machinery of a huge economy.'

what makes advertising so hard?

'your not writing a novel somebody pays money for. you are not writing a sitcom somebody enjoys watching. you are writing something most people try to avoid. this is the sad, indisputable truth at the bottom of our business. nobody wants to see what you are about to put down on paper. people not only dislike advertising they're becoming immune to most of it -like insects build up a resistance to DDT.'

so why does it happen?

'the truth isn't the truth until people believe you, and they can't believe you if they don't know what you're saying, and they can't know what you saying if they don't listen to you, and they won't listen to you if you're not interesting, and you won't be interesting unless you say things imaginatively, originally, freshly.' - Bill Burnbach

why do i do it?  

because i love to use my brain in different ways, every single day. i get to twist it, question it, and put myself in other places -to name a few. i get to think about why people do things, and how they do them and what makes them do them. and with all that knowledge i get my chance to interact with millions of people with one headline, possibly one picture, maybe even a script if i'm lucky. and thats all it is, an interaction. but if I only get one chance, 4.5 seconds to make an impact in your cluttered mind, i will make the most of it.

so i hope when your reading this you realize that advertising is tough shit. its not easy or simple and the same answer will NEVER work twice. every single day there is change, the products change, the mediums change, the audience changes. this industry never stops inspiring me and thats why i want to be a part of it. 

a little wee bit drunk right now and a little wee bit okay with life. its funny how when you have nothing to loose you have everything to gain. all i want is a life that doesn't slap me in the face every time i go to love it. its harder then you'd think. 

good night eryn. ex oh ex oh. give yourself a hug will ya?

i'm not in the mood

for life for now. 

and all of the shitty let downs that come with it. 

trying to remember that happiness shouldn't rely on other people. 

trying to remember all the promises you told me. 

because thats all i've got to go on right now. all i've had for a while. 

you and your fucking promises. 

your a lucky guy, do you know that?

look how little effort you can put in and look how much it makes me swoon. 

i'm not talking about the effort you put into life, because thats top notch. 

the effort you put into ME. into us. into commitment. 

i'll believe it when i feel it. 

write it on the wall: sushi island

stay at home bong

oh my god oh my god oh my god. the season finale of weeds is loading as i type this and i am really fucking excited about it. 

i would like to confess that i fell in love with nancy botwin four seasons ago when i first started watching the show. i even tried to model my life to be like hers, although if you watch the show you will get that probably isn't the best idea. she made drug dealing sexy. plus she does crazy so well its hard not to relate. 

nancy never fails to get in over her head, due in part to her smoking good looks and the lineup of men who try and bang her during the course of a season. but like any smart lady those looks come in handy for getting herself out of shit as well. 

"at the 2004 Golden Globes, when she won the Best Supporting Actress award for her performance in the TV version of the Tony Kushner play Angels in America, she thanked her newborn son for making her breasts look so good."

all systems are GO

we build systems into our lives and this inhibits us from making change.  

i'll start with an explanation of what i mean when i say systems. systems are what i create to help be more efficient and make my lives easier. systems take time to develop and test out. for example, it was always a problem when people stay over at my apartment and need to leave later then I do. what happens to the house guest who doesn't want to leave at 8:00am sunday morning to go home because thats when i have to go to work? the system that has worked best is for them to keep my apartment key while i take the front door key and the mailbox key with me. they simply drop the apartment door key into my mailbox and when i come home i can fish it out and get into my apartment. simple right? this system was the brainchild of the president and was one of his best ideas to date.

so you can see how this system took some time to figure out. could i just leave the keys somewhere? can you drop the keys off at my work? have a spare set for the guests to mail back to me? this system works perfectly and isn't any extra work for either of the parties involved. 

we set up systems in our lives to make the days run smoother. moving to a new place requires all new systems. the further away from the current situation you move the bigger the system changes are going to have to be.

i'm bringing this up because i am serious about moving to BC to do my internship. ive started telling people about it so that they have expectations for me. so they expect it from me. i want to be pushed into this but i'm hesitant. why? because it requires all new systems. i won't have the luxury of my own apartment and all of my belongings to make the trip with me. i'll have to do a lot of extra leg work. i've never had a job in an ad agency before, let alone trying to get one in a city accoss the country. how do i have an interview? how do i show them my work? make connections? its all a big question mark.

but i know i want it. that much is right, and it might just be enough.  

i can not stop eating. i keep thinking about food and everything is making my mouth water and salavate and even at this very second i am stuffing hot salami down my throat. you know, washing down the huge greek spinach salad and chocolate milk that i'm going to refer to as an 'after work snack' to make me feel better about the creation i will make in a couple hours. the pill lets me avoid having babies every month but they don't stop me from eating like i am carrying six of them. I had burrito boy for lunch today. fucking amazing. they put guacamole on FOR FREE. heaven i tells ya. oh and then frozen yogurt for dessert. no i did not win the lottery, i am in denial thankyouverymuch.

Tonight is friday night for anyone who gives a shit. and guess who has no plans? me. 

 

i'm a little bit sad about that, and a little bit happy. I need to spend more time alone. i keep trying to fight the loneliness and it keeps coming back to slap me in the face. so i guess my strategy is to take it easy for the night and get some shit done around the apartment. this is my lame attempt to motivate myself into thinking painting walls and mopping floors is a great way to spend a friday night and that my life is a fantasy. oh look, here comes the magical pixie smoke now. 

the grass is always greener on the other side. 

these pictures are brought to you by everything your mother warned you not to do. the edited version of the story is we came home at 6:30 am. go figure. 

Love is like breathing. You take it in and let it out.

-She's Come Undone, Wally Lamb

I stepped off the bus after school today and made the impromptu decision to get a coffee at the cutest little cafe near my house. unplanned stop overs are not a usual occurrence for me but i think the sign outside that said Fresh Made Pies reminded me of my best friend L7 and all of the sudden my heart wanted to be filled with homemade pastry and good coffee. Madelines is what the name of this place is and they have the most amazing back patio with cozy, comfortable outdoor couches and chairs. and seeing as i only had a few mouthwatering pages left of my novel i couldn't bare to put it down, even if it was only for the short walk home. 

I was sitting back relaxing drinking my coffee when i came across the above quote in my novel. its so absolutely true for any emotion i have ever had. you can only give what you have. when you life is full of friends and happiness you will gain more friends and increase your happiness. when you life is filled with negativity and stress you continue to be negative and therefore add more stress. can you change this? can you go from having depression and anxiety to feeling wonderful about the world again? its a hard question. you only have one life and it is up to each of us to be responsible for what we fill it with. its easy to get pushed down, and stay down - to ignore our support systems and accept that life handed us a shit stick. perpetuating the cycle is the easy answer. 

but its not the best answer. little by little it is important that we take in fresh air, be it fresh ideas, fresh places, fresh faces. we need to change our lives each day in order not to be sucked down. monotony is detrimental to the state of mind. its not easy to make a different path and there are many excuses -not having money, not having time, not having the resources. but it won't be the excuses you will remember in the future, in fact its quite the opposite. it will be the changes you made. it will be breathing in new thoughts and new concepts that you will remember. that will have made you the person you become. 

living easy is like cheating. your giving up on your chances, the changes you could have made. and what all this has me thinking is that i believe i want to grow up and have a simplified life. a life of schedules and control. but now i am wondering just how much a person can grow and learn within that environment? i don't want to ever stop learning and growing. hmmm its a confusing path to travel down, this life thing. 

post summer blues

Having a bit of a sad day. looking through these pictures made it worse. the weather is cooling down, there is no humid stick to the air anymore. i love summer, i thrive in summer. give me a sweaty sunny day and i'll never get lonely. 

its raining out now. i have sever mood changes depending on the weather. i compulsively check the weather tool on my new phone to know what is happening outside, even when i'm indoors. rainy days are never happy days, it goes so much deeper then i can explain. i joke i'm obsessed with the weather but in actuality the weather controls me. i don't know how to change this.  

the president said 'you can always get back to the good places if you remember what they feel like'. its remembering thats hard, keeping that memory fresh in my mind. living like its okay that there are pieces missing.



oh and to top it all of my favorite nail polish won't open and i'm weak little single girl. gosh this isn't a good day. god damn you 'lincoln park after dark' just fucking twist already. adfskjdfsjkldfs
sorry for the blog angst, i'll snap out of it soon, it's supposed to be sunny tomorrow.

i'm feeling crafty

and VERY inspired by the mixing of simple fabrics, thick textured paper, coloured thread and vintage typewriter fonts. 

this may have been brought on by the prospect of designing a business card for my mom, who offers her services as a seamstress in her spare time. 

when i proposed the idea of a business card to her she was thrilled, and took the project to the next level. Each card will have her contact information but will also include a space for an estimate on the project the client has inquired about. 

and when i'm done with this, no client will be able to resist this adorable, hand-made leave behind. 

and for my own benefit this gives me the excuse i have been waiting for to borrow my nana's typewriter and play with coloured thread on thick, textured paper. 

not sure how i stumbled across this site but if your in the market for any kind of personalized mail out announcement you should check out the Bird and Banner website. all photos are from their site. 

return to owner

someone stole my blog mojo. 

soooo not feeling this right now, but feeling mad amounts of guilt about not updating. 

maybe tomorrow after my bacon binge hangover has decreased.

Answers to life's mysteries...

Question: does chocolate milk jive well in coffee?

Answer: HELL YES its milk and sugar all in one step!

i have these weird red itchy bumps all over my entire body. it started tuesday morning and its only gotten worse and spread to my hands and even my palms. the pharmacist told me to take allergy medication but it makes me hellla sleepy. i slept 11 hours last night. anyway. if its not better tomorrow morning i'm going to the walk in. my mom asked me if i had eaten anything different? changed my laundry soap? slept with any new guys? was laying in the grass? huh, way to slip that one in there mom. good try, no try. 

my landlord finally gave me the OK to go ahead with painting my closet doors. in my drowsy benadryl state i knocked that off my list. next and FINAL step is the front hall. i bought a plant and a shelf already to keep me motivated to finish the painting. its only taken me ALL SUMMER. pictures to come soon chillins. 

Blog Comments

Are they really necessary? 

I've been asking myself this more and more as I continue down this blogging path. 

A comment is the equivalent to feedback. to a pat on the back or a smile thrown your way. it can also be a place where any anonymous person can bitch about your lack of grammar or content, or whatever they god damn feel like. there are two sides to every coin. 

comments can be the push you need to keep going, or the reaffirmation that you did the right thing. but i've noticed that even this golden side of the coin can have its drawbacks. i've noticed this in smaller blogging communities, where a group of people with similar interests all read each others blogs and comment consistently. the same few people will comment, each and every post, with the same cliche lines. Great post! good thought. yay girl! your awesome, keep it up. while all positive comments...i just don't really see the point. 

so i beginning to believe that maybe people are just using comments as a way to drive people to their own blogs. a self promotion tool. they know people with similar interests will be reading around the same circles of bloggers, and if they see "miss sexy 6969" commenting on four of the six blogs they read daily, they are likely to check miss 69 out. 

which is fine. i know thats how blog networks are designed to work. 

but for shits and giggles, can we all try just a little bit harder to write something worth reading in those little comment boxes? 

hi

apologies for the lack of posting......

when its a choice between getting shit done in the real world or gsd in the blog world...well...there isn't really even a choice. 

in good news i got my camera back so thats something to look forward to.. sorry, i got nothing for ya. gotta go get ready for school. 

xoxox