life

life.

mine is crazy right now.

1. moving
2. work
3. need to purchase a lot of items for the new apartment
4. need to sell my car
5. buying a new car
6. LIFE

there is a pretty ridiculous video that a co-worker and i took when we were both hammered. im trying to get her to send it to me. its pretty long. and super duper drunk. but its also funny.

sorry this is an ADD post my head is 100 places right now.

hahaha and on that note. it is now 12:43 the next morning....starting writing the stuff above last night around midnight.

mmmm just finished a big breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and bacon. with coffee and OJ. so good. i love making breakfast. if i didn't care about what my job was or having nice things i would be a breakfast cook. they always seem to be in the best, most smiley moods.

at least on tv!

list number two - what do i need to purchase for the new apartment?
-new mattress
-bookshelves for the living room
-bar height table/prep area for the kitchen
-two new pillows
-coffee table
-chair for the living room

electronics
-flatscreen tv
-desktop computer tower
-wireless keyboard and mouse
-possibly a speaker setup (all these items are for watching tv online and not investing in cable)
-espresso machine
-new laptop (not necessary but want it)

we had 'the talk' the one where we need to decide who is taking what and how we are dividing the physical things we have accumulated together.

so we have decided that for a lot of the items that we have purchased together, we are just going to buy a new one and split the cost of the new items. pretty fair right? i feel like this is going very easily. we are both no drama people. there was some bargaining for items but it was resolved and i don't think either of us are getting a shitty deal.

plus...we are moving into this new zone of being friends. which to be honest is pretty nice. there was a while for the past few months were i would say we weren't even friends. just room mates. which lead to both of us feeling so much hostility/built up resentment. or actually maybe i just felt this way? i don't know for sure. all i know is that i resented having a boyfriend who didn't make me feel like a girlfriend. there was no spark, no special moments, nothing but forced casualness. anyway. we are friends now which is cool.
its like the pressure is gone now? we don't need to pretend to be madly in love (i have been able to stop feeling guilty for not being madly in love) and the dynamic has changed.

the thing about relationships is people have asked my 'why are you breaking up?' as if there is an easy answer to that question. there are 298398432948 reasons and also none. its not one thing that happened that made me make up my mind. there was just the way it was and the way i wanted it to be.

but don't get me wrong. its also super awkward sometimes. more awkward for others then for us i think. but. meh. its like, wait, if we kiss when we say good bye does that make us a couple? if i do something nice is it because i'm trying to impress him? ahhhh blurry line. whatevs. we are doing it.

wow long interlude as i just mad coffee hyper blew through the entire toronto craigslist for stuff.

the only possible winner?

this blog post took me like 14 hours to write.

great momentum!

xo