you're running at a different speed

hey oh 

so whats new. 

I had a very inspiring night last night. I relaxed for the first time in a VERY long time and you know what? I actually feel like I accomplished SO much by doing nothing. I was able to let my mind drift and explore. 

I filled four pages of notepad with ideas. 

I honestly don't do that enough. 

I've been thinking of having one night a week that I don't go online. don't use my phone for text or bbm. Don't watch shows or tv. (maybe a short phone call would be allowed, they always make me feel better)

Create things! enjoy spending quality time in my apartment. write letters. brainstorm future blog posts and write down goals. think about what I have done, where I am going, what I am going to do to get myself there. 

I don't do that enough. I go go go but don't take time to evaluate the effort. enjoy the results. 

I am learning. It doesn't come naturally to me. 

I spend so much time cleaning my apartment, thinking of ways to decorate it, researching ideas for it, walking around stores looking for things for it. 

Not enough time RELAXING in it. enjoying it. putting my feet up in it. 

its difficult to turn my brain off. when I am stressed I just want to keep working. get things crossed off the list so I can feel less stressed. but. yeah. that doesn't always work out. the list never seems to be that small. 

I wish etsy sellers would write in the listing that an item will take 2-3 weeks for delivery. Sort of a game changer.

I've officially made pilates a habit. whats that fact? 

if you can do it for 66 days (thanks google) you have created a new habit. 

its been a couple months now and I am still going strong. literally. getting stronger. 

it feels really good. honestly. sometimes it is a pain in the ass to go out in the cold and drive there but it always makes me feel better, have more energy, and more confident in my own skin. 

I used to look at people who went to the gym a couple times a week and ask how they motivated themselves to do it. 

the answer is simple. you just do it. 

my car is for sale right now. 

really no reason why I didn't list it sooner. 

its so unbelievably easy. 

and people are calling! 

I hope I sell it quickly. to think that I one day will not have to worry about it biting the dust is SUCH a relief. its a ticking time bomb. 

really looking forward to coming home this weekend. reallly really. 

its nice to be away from my apartment and its looming TO DO list and enjoy the company of others. be a guest. drink coffee in the evening. get advice from people who care. never look at the time. watch the sun come up. 

lately I've had such strong ties to the people from Lindsay. over the past few months I've become so close with SO many people and they are all amazing. 

Lindsay might have nothing to do, a huge drug and teen pregnancy problem and some seriously slow drivers, but i sort of love it. 

its a place where I know how to get everywhere. where people make time for what is important. where a smile from a stranger is common. 

and we make hella good ice cream too. 

this blog is such a part of me now. 

I know I don't have the followers or readership of others but I feel like the people who read this are of great quality. Its not a numbers game. I need to remember that. Sometimes I get down, I think, why does this person have 300 subscribers and they have only been blogging for a couple months? The answer doesn't matter. 

I've had a few people reach out and say my words have touched them. that means more to me than any statistic. Thats what I get satisfaction from. 

Have a wonderful day and don't forget to wish at 11:11.

xoxo