I wrote that post below and then proceded to drink my face off and fall down a flight of stairs and puke on myself while sitting on a sidewalk, blacking out the entire way home and then again in the bathroom with the door locked and then to top it all off puke again in the bed and then come morning really remember none of this and re-live it through others explanations of my shame and confusion.

I'll probably regret putting that on the internet but also? dont care?
the question marks are meant to confuse you.

what. else.

I'm using this new note app and it lets you either type out the note or just say it and it types it for you or you can take a picture or link a web page and probably even more then that but I'm still sort of new. its called evernote. oh you can also have an online version that syncs with your phone version.
try it. you'll like it.

my latest note:

Did the sun really get stronger or are people just more vain?

good. job.

actually! haha I have no job!! oh right THATS what I came on here to talk about. haaaaa lyfe.

yes so for the first time in like forever (at least 15, which holy fuck was 10 years ago) I am contently unemployed. seems pretty weird for me.

seems like I should have less guilt. I feel incredibly anxious about not working and having an income for the next 8 months. I actually think I really need this though. I need to learn to relax. To slow down and calm down.

and realistically school isn't going to be the most relaxing thing, its just a different channel.

alright enough out of me, I'm going to enjoy the sunshine!

heartless challenge

what a whirlwin lately. I don't know. I'm all over the place.

I'm thinking the loaded thought of leaving my job and receiving my last pay check for the next 8 months is like hugely affecting my better judgement right now.

I'm craving peace, hot sauce, and to re-arrange the apartment.

I feel completely overwhelmed and underwhelmed and its just one of those transitional periods where I look at everything in my life and try and be more streamline. more simple. most satisfying.

some times I think I over analyze. I think way too much about the stupidest shit.
but like, at the same time, I'm always going to be this way so why not try and at least change the things I don't like and move towards a happier self.

or maybe I'm just too hard on myself. or maybe. or maybe.

I've really been trying to channel an inner calm. I feel like its all I have sometimes. sometimes I go so far into my own head there exists a peacefulness. one thousand scenarios that may never happen being played out. A repeating one is where i'm lost in a whitewashed world of sunshine and laundry blowing on a close-line and little toes and blueberry crumble.

I want land. ground. soil. dirt. growth. green.

I'm listening to gold dust woman on repeat. for better or worse, that song fills my bones.

end of an era

hi all. 

I'm officially finished at my work. I'm DONE DONE DONE. 

it was bitter sweet. it was SO hard to say good bye to everyone and know that I won't be seeing them every day anymore but at the same time I am exciting and looking forward to the future so that made it easier.

They were all so sweet and threw a pizza party and bought me an ice cream cake (my fav!) and some school supplies and even some davids tea and one of the bodega travel mugs. so thoughtful. 

today is the first day of my two week vacation. I worked my butt off this summer so I'm happy to just sit back, relax and catch up on some reading. 

I'm actually headed to the cottage right now for the weekend and probably a few more days depending on the weather. my bf from france flew in monday and the two of us have no specific plans so we shall see where the dog days of summer take us. 

this blog may be a little quiet but I'm very excited for september. follow along on my instagram @erynackerman

love you all. xox 

roadtrip essentials..

Sun hat ++

Polaroid Camera ++

Corn Nuts and munchie snacks

Sunglasses (arent these ones rad?! I love the little arrow detail on them) ++

Comfortable jean shorts (so cute with the lace detail) ++

Moleskin journal -  I always get so inspired when I travel and need a place to jot down notes.



We've decided to hit the road and drive to a beach of some sort. Not 100% where we are going and not 100% sure when we are coming back.

but 100% what I needed.

Have a great long weekend!!

xo