Monday, May 30, 2011

wow.

sorry.

life interlude.

don't be mad! i have good enough reasons to take week long breaks. like moving in 4 days, and making a logo for a bakery near and dear to my heart, and working upwards of 55 hours a week, and you know- trying to have a life and all.

i have been stress eating my face off this week. i can just feel how much my body hates it. BUT my tastebuds and brain want it. how can i tell that sweet widdle craving no?

gross. i hate baby talk.

tonight for dinner - i ate most of a bag of all dressed crispers. in my car. and then a ceasar salad with chickpeas to even THAT mistake out. gah. salt. i just can't get enough of it when i'm leaning towards stress ville.

new apartment. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

so soon. so so so so soon.

also!

flight booked to BC! end of june. only have to take 5 days off work and fan-dangled a 10 day stay. visiting the birds and helping get this bakery going. super excited to see what they have already done. what the space looks like. everything and more.

summer is shaping up! sorry i'm all exclamation marks tonight.  !!!! !!!  !! ! ! !

my feet stink!

there is a Jamaican guy yelling at a screechy woman on speaker phone somewhere close to our balcony right now. APARTMENTS!

aww but this was a good building to live in. convenience/price wise.  also in the last few months they have replaced the balcony railing and repainted the exterior of the building so it doesn't look half bad now. AND they repainted the hallways from this weird blue faux wallpaper stencil weirdness to solid beige and white. not bad.

there are also random photoshopped posters in the elevators that elude to the hope they might be replacing the elevators? not sure though. the only text on the poster is "WE ARE WORKING ON IT" and then a bunch of men with hard hats and some metal doors that could be an elevator? why the guess work? two words - NEW ELEVATORS.
also upon closer inspection (and because i live on the 28th floor and there is nothing else to do while making the slow and steady decline to the basement every morning) it appears the poster is really at least three and maybe even more clip art photos microsoft paint-ed together. again. two words - NEW ELEVATORS.

lots of good people working here.

one time i received a bill for .60 cents from the building management. sixty friggen cents! some interest charge or something i have no idea. the amount of time it took to figure out how much i owed, type out an invoice, print it out, fold and put it in an envelope, take the ridiculous elevator all the way to the 28th floor and back. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! time is money people.

i paid it.

if only out of respect for how shitty someones life is if they take .60 cents THAT seriously.

my feet stink. did i say that already?

i'm to bed early tonight. its going to be a long week.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

ikea! what are you trying to tell me?!

HA

hooooooooly life.

i just deleted a whole paragraph of all the shit that I have been doing lately. not important! just know i have been busy.

so.

lets look back at my resolutions and see where we stand with things. a little check up.



1. drink more coffee - I feel like i am doing well at this goal. we ran out of coffee for two weeks at the office and I was forced to drink tea. not the same. actually just ended up being late for work pretty much everday because i had to wait in the Tim hortens drive thu lane. i try not to drink it too late in the afternoon though.

2. give more compliments - meh...maybe doing this more? probably not though. 

3. eat real meals on weekdays- for a while i was doing good at this but then i fall off the wagon. i now go grocery shopping and take everything to the office since thats where i eat most of my meals. skip the middle man!

4. call my friends more. YES. i do think i am doing better at this. 

5. get back into the crafty spirit. double negative no. 



7. WORK LESS. hahaha. again. no. 

8. contribute to an RRSP. wow. i suck. nope. 

9. do more couple things. HA. nope. 

10. put more effort into hair and makeup. Maybe. depends on if you call effort doing my makeup on the way to work while driving. I'm trying not to wear the same outfits all the time, if that counts? (doesn't)

11. sell vintage on ebay or etsy. fail. 

and not to sure where number 6 went to?! 

so in all. failing. 

but i also don't really care because my life is super fulfilling and fun and few of these things really make me a better person, just a less bored person. 

new apartment in less then two weeks!!!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

life

life.

mine is crazy right now.

1. moving
2. work
3. need to purchase a lot of items for the new apartment
4. need to sell my car
5. buying a new car
6. LIFE

there is a pretty ridiculous video that a co-worker and i took when we were both hammered. im trying to get her to send it to me. its pretty long. and super duper drunk. but its also funny.

sorry this is an ADD post my head is 100 places right now.

hahaha and on that note. it is now 12:43 the next morning....starting writing the stuff above last night around midnight.

mmmm just finished a big breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and bacon. with coffee and OJ. so good. i love making breakfast. if i didn't care about what my job was or having nice things i would be a breakfast cook. they always seem to be in the best, most smiley moods.

at least on tv!

list number two - what do i need to purchase for the new apartment?
-new mattress
-bookshelves for the living room
-bar height table/prep area for the kitchen
-two new pillows
-coffee table
-chair for the living room

electronics
-flatscreen tv
-desktop computer tower
-wireless keyboard and mouse
-possibly a speaker setup (all these items are for watching tv online and not investing in cable)
-espresso machine
-new laptop (not necessary but want it)

we had 'the talk' the one where we need to decide who is taking what and how we are dividing the physical things we have accumulated together.

so we have decided that for a lot of the items that we have purchased together, we are just going to buy a new one and split the cost of the new items. pretty fair right? i feel like this is going very easily. we are both no drama people. there was some bargaining for items but it was resolved and i don't think either of us are getting a shitty deal.

plus...we are moving into this new zone of being friends. which to be honest is pretty nice. there was a while for the past few months were i would say we weren't even friends. just room mates. which lead to both of us feeling so much hostility/built up resentment. or actually maybe i just felt this way? i don't know for sure. all i know is that i resented having a boyfriend who didn't make me feel like a girlfriend. there was no spark, no special moments, nothing but forced casualness. anyway. we are friends now which is cool.
its like the pressure is gone now? we don't need to pretend to be madly in love (i have been able to stop feeling guilty for not being madly in love) and the dynamic has changed.

the thing about relationships is people have asked my 'why are you breaking up?' as if there is an easy answer to that question. there are 298398432948 reasons and also none. its not one thing that happened that made me make up my mind. there was just the way it was and the way i wanted it to be.

but don't get me wrong. its also super awkward sometimes. more awkward for others then for us i think. but. meh. its like, wait, if we kiss when we say good bye does that make us a couple? if i do something nice is it because i'm trying to impress him? ahhhh blurry line. whatevs. we are doing it.

wow long interlude as i just mad coffee hyper blew through the entire toronto craigslist for stuff.

the only possible winner?



this blog post took me like 14 hours to write.

great momentum!

xo

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

email to cravid


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Reply

Erin Ackerman

 to Dave









GOAL: no dairy for one week


its only monday afternoon and i have EPICALLY failed. 

but!

i have had a TON of water with lemon. 

and 

brown rice with asparagus

and 




an 





ice cream cone.


fail





_____________________________
Dave to me

i don't know what to tell you Erin, you're a hard working career woman, very independent and smart.  Get your shit together.  if you can't find a way to go dairy-free for seven fucking days....I don't know what to tell you.  This is pretty simple.  Is there Dairy in it?  DON"T EAT IT.
 
A little bit of negative motivation for your Tuesday.
 
Just saw a job posting for the Fenelon Falls Salvation Army....dream come true?


__________________________________

Erin Ackerman

 to Dave

i know. 

your so right. 

but i have so little self restraint.

I'm skinny! I've never had to tell myself no. 

actually.. that doesn't even makes sense. 

clearly fat people aren't restraining themselves either. 

dairy free NOT FOR ME

again, so much water with lemon. and peppermint tea. 


i'm going to take the cheese off my sandwich today, just for you. 

xox

Monday, May 9, 2011

heyyyo

great fucking weekend.


does my use of the f bomb bother people?

meh.

there were some really great moments and also some shitty ones that had to happen (saying goodbye to now ex family, he made it more awkward than it needed to be)

but whatever!

i made it out alive and looking SO SO forward to summer. thats all i talk about now. i know especially on the blog but even in real life. summer summer summer. i am in loveeee with summer.

oh wait!!!

i am crossing something off my summer list already

BUY A ONE PEICE BATHING SUIT

or really


BUY A ONE PEICE BATHING SUIT

you don't even know how long i have been looking for a one piece that wasn't super expensive and didn't make me look like a 12 year old at the aquatoriam.

this is really great news because i am getting closer to another goal of learning how to slalom ski.

i mean you can ski in a two piece. i've been doing it for lifetimes but theres always that flashing moment after a wipe out

HOLY JESUS i don't even think i still have legs there can't be a bathing suit attached to them!

but its usually there.

one time my top was chilling in my armpits when i took my life jacket off in the boat. the wipe out and the show! hello cousins!

actually this mostly happens when tubing.

fucking love tubing. actually tubing scares the crap out of me but thats why i like it. and i always get middle because i am the girl and that is A okay with me. i'd like to keep all my eyeballs okay thanks.



so. i guess i should write out my list

my list of summer goals.

IT HAS BEEN GROWING IN MY HEAD

ALL WINTER


-lets start off with the easy ones shall we...one piece black bathing suit (scored for $24 thank you joe fresh)
-learn to slalom ski
-grow a vegetable garden
-buy a record player
-bbq as much as possible
-get the heck out of the city
-buy a beautiful bicycle with a large basket
-launch two birds eatery with my best friend turned baker now business woman
-tan a millions tans
-decorate my new apartment
-sangria. copious amounts of it. white wine sangria, red wine sangria, sangria party at my place
-go camping. maybe quebec. whos in?
-various fitness and health goals like eating less crap and more pure ingredients, start going to pilates, and possibly yoga again, drink so much water. take my multi vitamins drink my vital greens. sleep more, coffee less, focus more.
-to be continued.

xo


Friday, May 6, 2011

Friday Jams







soooooooooooo happy its friday!

this week went by so quickly. happy about THAT

took my car to the mechanic yesterday and walked out with a car that sounded like a purring cat instead of an airplane taking off.

was pretty fucking stoked.

who knew a ball bearing could cause so much racket.

he showed it to me after. 'Look how bad this is' uh yeah sure, so i guess its not supposed to look like that?! you could have showed me a lawnmower engine i have no idea what the inside of my car looks like.

under the hood, not my problem, thats what i say

so while they fixed my car i found a goodwill down the street. two hours of goodwill shopping is exactly what i live for.

found a pair of white sperry's for my brother, found some geometric sweaters for myself, they are semi verging on cray cray but i like them, some smoked glass cups and lots of other goodies.

i would like it to rain just a little more. a few more days of rain would be great.

kidddddddding.

what the hell spring?

whatever, get it out of your system now and lets go for clear skies this summer. vegetable growth to the max.

i need to get some work done.

pace

Thursday, May 5, 2011

wooden crates!

i love em.

and i have a way to get them. beautiful pine ones, that used to hold wines more expensive then my car. 

i love that you can stack them, nail them to the wall, put things in them, on them, over them. GROW THINGS IN THEM. they are perfect. 

so in honour of wooden crates. 

i give you wooden crates! 









Wednesday, May 4, 2011

yellow bedframe


a while ago i was reading one of my favorite toronto based blogs, the marion house, when she mentioned she was re-doing her bedroom and getting rid of her beautiful yellow bed frame. i can't say for sure but i may have originally fallen in love with this particular bed frame BECAUSE of her bedroom, and had been casually searching craigslist for one for a while. So when we mentioned she was willing to sell it I immediately emailed her and said I could pick it up the following weekend. she named her price (a good deal too!) and my brother and i went to pick it up. 

let me just say, this bed is not for beginner ikea assemblers. we took nearly four hours putting it together with me running back and forth to the computer for the instructions i found online. we would get one part together only to realize it needed to be attached to something else all together or, umm, is this upside down?! we also tried to make a time lapse video of us putting it together but i'm not sure that was ever edited/finished.

its a beautiful bed frame and i am lucky to have it. I was reminded of this because there is a before and after post about this bedroom on apartment therapy and there are a fair number of people who prefer the old bedroom and the old bedframe! mine now! see for yourself, and the new beautiful room that emma created is below. 

Sunday, May 1, 2011

heyyyyy

so the thing about this blog is sometimes.


there is no blog.

deep eh?

so.

i feel i must be honest on here. and enough time has passed that i feel comfortable talking about this now.

i am moving out, and ending my current relationship as it was. the dynamic of the relationship was bad, it was just really bad. we didn't even like each other anymore. i'm not exactly sure what the future holds for us now but i know that i needed to get out on my own and start building something fresh.

we don't hate each other. there was only a few harsh words spoken. it was mostly just laying the truths out on the table. neither one of us are in denial, it wasn't working.

i hope this is a new start. we are going to live our own lives, choose our own paths. its tough, its been almost six years. a long time, and even more reason to not wait.

so yes, thats it.

i move into my new place june 1st.

RESONS I CAN'T WAIT TO MOVE
-roof top patio
-only a 20 minute NON HIGHWAY commute to work (right now i drive about 45 minutes-1.5 hours)
-new beautiful neighborhood to explore
-three huge bright windows
-a dishwasher!
-full authority on decorating (although I wouldn't say i was ever really told i couldn't do anything before, its now really my own vote that wins)
-living with my brother. and he gets his own bedroom!
-living in a house means no stupid elevators that break down
-fresh start x100000
-yoga and pilates just down the street

so yes. i think i had a bit of writers block this past week because i knew what i wanted my next post to be about and just didn't have the words to get it out.

but its out there now.

and me?

i am doing great.

fucking fabulous. really.

really really.

i feel excited about the future. i feel blessed to know how much my friends and family support me. i don't feel like i am alone, quite the opposite really. i feel like there is a part of me that is scared but an even bigger part of me that knew it was time for a change. life is too short. if i could count the times people tell me this i would have run out of numbers. LIFE IS TO SHORT.

i feel like getting lost in a youtube vortex of gold dust woman and stevie nicks.

bye

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