Monday, December 22, 2008

sleigh bells ring...i'm anne murray. in the lane...i'm anne murray. a beautiful sight..i'm anne murray tonight. walking in a winter wonderland.

i like what christmas stands for. the concept of getting together with your family and old friends is everything you could want in a holiday. chirstmas is about baking and sparkely lights and staying in on cold winter nights. its a wonderful excuse to spend time with the people you love most. so that is what i am doing. instead of this.
see you again once the twinkle dies down.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Cinnamon Apple Oatmeal Cookies

first of all i have to say that these turned out soooo delicious. i'm not a very good baker because i never follow the directions properly and am the queen of substitutes.

this is the recipe i 'followed' with the proper substitutions i used. if you want an unedited version it is available here. my recipe is the doubled, no raisons, substitute butterscotch chips for the non-existent cinnamon chip version and it made about 50 cookies. enough for two parties :)

  • 1.5 cup butter, softened
  • 2 cup packed regular brown sugar
  • 2 egg
  • 2 tablespoon apple juice
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 3 cups all-purpose flour
  • 2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 3 cups quick-cooking oats
  • 1 (10 ounce) package butterscotch chips
  • 2 cups apples - peeled, cored and chopped (about 3 apples)
  • 2 tablespoons of cinnamon (or more) 
it helps if you drink eggnog with nutmeg.

  1. Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly grease cookie sheet.
  2. Beat butter, brown sugar, egg, apple juice and vanilla in large bowl until creamy. Stir together flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and salt. Add to butter mixture; beat until blended. Stir in oats. Add butterscotch chips, and apples; stir until blended. make balls with the dough about 1.5 inches wide.
  3. Bake 10 minutes or until edges are lightly browned. don't overbake them, they are way better gooey inside. 

bacon for your boo boo

i wonder what the free toy is...

Sunday, December 14, 2008

dog day afternoon

walking around i made the decision to make soup in the slow cooker when i got home. an after thought is it may have been a bit late in the day to cook a meal in something that starts with the word slow. that kept me warm on my walk, ducking into store thats had condensation on the windows and bright shiny things inside. 

the cutest little tea shop open up near my house. they probably have over one hundred different kinds of tea to try. i'm partial to the chai tea lattes. 
its taken me almost a week of hanging and cleaning and lots of decluttering, but i'm ready for my new table and chairs. since this was a craigslist find my mom and brother are coming to help me get it here and lug it up four eight flights of stairs. 
tomorrow i am looking forward to the first meal on my table being homemade soup with fresh bread and butter, packing up all the extra clutter and going home to see a christmas tree. 

oh and i also cleaned my bong today. for once. 

Saturday, December 13, 2008

pre coffee post pot pondering

today is saturday. its early enough in the afternoon that i still feel like i have a full day ahead of me. i'm going to go on a walk. i will show you the results tonight. in pictures.

this picture is actually a postcard. you can buy it in the little otsu shop. it was drawn by kaori kasai. 

there are lots of nice things to buy in the little otsu shop. i bought this for a best friend once and am thinking of getting one for myself. but i'm also thinking of making one myself.

i also want to make a calendar. tonight.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

without going there. i'm going to go there.

i realized something today while looking around my completely clean apartment. the one with all the pictures hung on the walls, all of the surfaces wiped or scrubbed or mopped. i looked at all the things i de-cluttered, reorganized, brightened, and repurposed. all the work i accomplished in the past two days. 

i don't give a shit. 

it doesn't give me any satisfaction to have climbed to the top of my to do list. there is always another list started on a new page. there is always something. 

today i realized that i will never satisfy myself. i'm not one of those people that can accept things. some people call it drive, i think its going to make me go crazy. 

so for everyone in my life. you will never be good enough. you'll probably disappoint me at some point and i will act like i was expecting it. because i was. because that makes the constant disappointment in myself seem bearable. 

Thursday, December 4, 2008

floating in the summer sky

"The thing I hate most about advertising is that it attracts all the bright, creative and ambitious young people, leaving us mainly with the slow and self-obsessed to become artists. Modern art is a disaster area - never in the field of human history has so much been used by so many to say so little"


In the spirit of me being a huge nerd when it comes to pantone colours and all things yellow please put your hands together for 2009's pantone colour of the year.....MIMOSA!

last years colour was blue iris...not really my cup of poison. altho together they would make a pretty rad combo. 

ps not sure why all that text above is links but i'm over it. blasted html beat me again. 

ah ha! but who gets the last line? sorry, i'll be quietly going insane over here..shhh...

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

the internet is not just for porn

There are many things i have done in my life, and there are many things that i haven't. One of the things that i have never participated in is self harm. it hurts me entirely when i project myself into another person whose life is so dark that self harm is seen as an option. where they escape to.

so please, lets use the internet as a tool for helping, for changing and for education. just for 10 minutes. please. go to mommy is moody and read her story. i do, everyday. you may find yourself doing the same, its touching on a level i didn't know the internet could reach. and if your so inclined, click on the buttons button on the right side of this page to learn more about a great cause. feel free to steal it for your own space on the internet.

Monday, December 1, 2008


Roll a huge joint

Smoke it

Watch this video (to the end) 

and if your anything like me you will wonder why music produced today doesn't have this kind of passion. 

The Rolling Stones 1968
Heres some photo's from my trip around the internet today. the theme was red. 

Sunday, November 30, 2008

clits and giggles: a joke book for lesbian comedians

i was going to start another post with sorry as the first word but instead i got to the ninth word. my camera is in a state of refusal to turn on so when so much of my world is visual i'm finding it hard to find the words. that sounds like song lyrics....i'm finding it hard to find the words....what do i know though about music though, apparently i listen to music that girls listen to when they eat out other girls. burn. 

i've been reading a lot about existentialism lately. i find it really comforting. but that is sort of lost when i remember  i have to write an essay about something by wednesday. what is resonating with me is that we are constantly making our own choices about life. nothing is predetermined. we are terrifyingly free to choose our own fates. 

in a round about way, i think that may have been why i started this blog. i wanted to have proof, some kind of record of my choices. all we have in life is the choices we make. its not really about what job we have, or who you kiss goodnight. those things are by-products of the choices we make but they only have value to you if you actively decide them. and as we are terrifyingly free to choose our own fates, we have even more to worry about with our decisions.

i have new sense of appreciation for how much control i have. i grew up in a house filled with caution, with doubt. this is where i learned how to make decisions. 'its better to be safe then sorry' is a motto that still comes out of my mouth on a regular basis. real true honesty is much easy to think about in concept then applied to real life. i find it very hard to tell people close to me anything that they don't want to hear. about decisions i have half made, that i may or may not stick with tomorrow, that are just as certain as they are uncertain. 

and thats what really gets to me with existentialism -we have to constantly be remembering that we can always be choosing. there is no need for doubt because you can always change your direction tomorrow. yes, certain choices are irreversible  but we are just as free to right wrongs and make new roads in a different direction. decisions are less final and less daunting when i think about them this way. 

Thursday, November 27, 2008

As winter comes to usher in the evening

sorry, i spent all last month glued to my computer. carrying it back and forth an hour on the bus, subway, bus. i'm done with exporting and rendering and clone stamping. the internet has lost its shine to me right now. its hard to bring myself to sit in front of the computer let alone be creative and write. 

neither one of my parents called to wish me good luck with my show, nor have i talked to either of them since. today is day four after the most important school/career experience of my life thus far. its crazy how important it is that i come home for christmas and wear a fake smile and pretend to like your food but you can't even remember about the one thing i have been talking about since september. whatever. breath. 

there seems to be a trend of people who i thought were close to me just suddenly forgetting about me. but don't be upset because i didn't think you would have come anyway. 

i did a bunch of things that i didn't expect to do today. i love making TO DO lists but i don't have enough will to stick to them. the purpose of one gives a shit.

i'm spent. 

enjoy my favorite song right now. 

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

loving today

its over its over its over its over its over its over its over its over its over its over its over its over

Yesssssssssss, its really done.

and it went very well. i think i made an impression. i talked out my nerves and tried to initiate conversations instead of just explaining my ideas. this is not just a pretty face was my point. i have an opinion and i want to make change. its a fine balance between telling an industry professional how you want to improve advertising without crapping on the work they do everyday. 

it feels reallllllllly great to work towards a goal, put everything on the backburner for something important and to be able to accomplish what you want. i don't have an internship this morning, but i have some great feedback to change my portfolio around and work towards it as a tangible goal. i don't want to jinx anything but a former teacher/runs his own agency was there all day and night looking at books and told me he wanted to take four of us, me included. HAPPY NESS

also included in the happiness category is an avocado on my kitchen counter that i have been saving for perfect ripeness which to my delight will be this morning. happiness is not going to school today and taking a R E S T day. it is also not being hung over today even though it was open one word: temptation. i have been so good not drinking my face off recently and to be talking to people who were sipping back red wine and cold beers and having to resist, resist and resist the free, free and free drinks was hard, hard and hard. i still managed to knock back three glasses of red before they closed the bar and kicked our drunk asses out where we proceeded to go to jack asstors and make constant cheers to being awesome. nothing like drunk college kids high on industry feedback to clear out a monday night bar crowd. 

an illustration that is making me smile by patrick moberg 

Saturday, November 22, 2008

the birth of my portfolio. take one.

i'm so friggen close i can taste it. it tastes better then anything prepacked or on sale. this is true blood, sweat and tears.  i brainstormed it, i executed it, i evaluated it and i made the decision to go for it. these are my babies and now they have a proper place in a proper book, with a branded business card and a mother who isn't going to take no for an answer. i will defend them and improve them, but they are mine through and through and its lovely to see them looking so beautiful. 
together we will make a platform and an impression and will plea, PLEASE HIRE ME.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

spin above my head and make it right

this is me. and this is a huge mountain in lake louise. 

this could accurately represent how much work i have to do. or maybe it represents the past, or maybe its an omen for the future. it may just be my state of mind this very second. or it could represent the time i climbed to the top of the mountain even though it was the scariest thing i've ever done, complete with a meltdown halfway to the top. or it could represent how little i feel in comparison to the real world of advertising. or maybe it represents throwing caution to the wind and driving away from everything i know with the hope that it couldn't be worse. 
or it could represent not having time to blog. 

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


love ya! when you feel stressed, just imagine that soon we will be drinking red wine together in your apartment, and drinking chai tea at that new place near your house! xoxo

Monday, November 17, 2008

wasted time running scared when all love needs is to be believed in

06 Cowboys
sometimes i forget to breath. i forget that the world isn't going to end if i don't get a headline just perfect. i forget that other people can't see all the colours i see. i forget that i got myself here, and that here is where i want to be. i forget to make lists of all the things i DID. i forget to be thankful for forward momentum. i forget to smile at the people who scowl. sometimes i forget to say please before i say thank-you. i forget to savour. i forget that the future is the future and the present is what's important. i forget that its my life, and if i'm happy with the result, then that should be the highest standard. i forgot how good tea with milk and sugar is. 
04 Sundays

Sunday, November 16, 2008

you dig yourself a dream

do you have things in life that you know you shouldn't care so passionately about, but it it just beyond your control to stop it? 
and i don't mean the top of your desk, i mean the main background on your computer. so here is a nice sunday project for you. 
first step: Organize!!!
make folders and put files in the right folders. i heard a rumor once that having too many things on your desktop makes your computer run slower. i have no facts to back that up but why take the risk?

ahhhhhh...much better. now it the fun part!

find a new picture!!!!

too lazy even for that? okay I will do the work for you.. here are some of my favs... from picaboo backgrounds

and ta! da! your life is forever changed and more productive. your welcome. 

ps. notice the time...less the 10 minutes. YOU CAN DO THIS. and i won't have to hyperventilate anxiety attack every time i look at your computer. and YOU will be more productive and organized. and it will probably make your karma better, just throwing it out there. 

oh and p.s. counting crows have a new album out. i haven't even memorized the songs yet and i already love it. 
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