Is there for real a mosquito in my room right now?

I am having a revelation about skin care and time alone tonight.

I don't make enough time for either.

And they are just so important. SO IMPORTANT!

(oh and random sidebar, a few people in the last week-ish have talked to me about my blog in real life and I'm always super awkward about it because ...I don't know...its like my personal ramblings...and my randomness.
and its not like you don't already know that I over analyze evvvvvvvvverything.

actually yes, lets talk about this....

(when the sidebar takes over your post)
(story of my life)
(one more?)

I want to put my thoughts out there. I feel like I need to. but I also just wish it could not be thrown back in my face for ANY reason.

I'm not here to hurt feelings or loose a job or damage future me's potential in any way.

But at the same time, this feels right. this feels like what I am supposed to do. what I've always done with my feelings. WHAT I DO

to other bloggers: do you struggle with this? this worry that your blog will have negative impacts to your real life?

See its so different though. there are less bloggers that share real and honest opinions and how they are really feeling and experiencing. Its just not what makes the money and I get that. totalllllly get it.
I really appreciate those that do though. thank you for letting me into your life.

(side bar in a side bar
(inception of side bars)

In fact, I've been toying with the idea of starting a less personal, more awesome links ...pictures ...recipes...pretty much everything this blog sometimes tries to be but fails.

I just always have to go back to the feeling stuff and its a different release. for a different market.
a different blog.

end second sidebar)

and yep, nothing really to go back to in the first sidebar)

so here we are, back at skin care and time alone.

I'll start with skin care.

I PRESENT TO YOU THE OIL CLEANING METHOD

I'm sold. going to buy castor oil tomorrow. and new washcloths I guess.

But I really feel like this is my THING. my skin has wanted this for so long, it loooooves to be oily and doesn't like me to wash it. which is fine for like weekends at the cottage and camping haha but when I am out in the city all day and apply makeup in the morning (including powder) I just feel like I need to wash my face before bed. that washing it would still be better then not washing it.

but! cleaning it with oil? (and not just olive oil, thats wayyyy to thick for my skin) I'm sold.

(not even actually sold, this will be the cheapest skin care routine I've tried to date)

oh yeah. and time alone? lovely, just lovely.

So many things to say!

mostly though, shredded carrots.

I'm sooooo in love with them.

They are unbelievably tasty. and so cheap!

just shred them up in a food processor, add equalish amounts of olive oil, apple cider vinegar, soy sauce, then some salt and pepper and a herb. the first time I used parsley and this time I used dill and both were rad. oh and like half of small red onion. This time I was so lazy I just dumped the onion down the food processor tube and it did all the work for me in like .8 seconds. They are tangy and a little salty and sour and the soy sauce gives it depth but its light and healthy and you feel great after.


schoooooooooool.

whoa. its even weirder then I thought.

like at first I was all whatever school, its this abstract thing that I'm going to do and was mostly focused on what will happen after the fact and what I will do with the rest of my life but now I'm like a student again with other students haha. this probably makes zero sense. its just like, I can do school, I'm good enough with time management and group dynamics and deadlines but its so weird to be off in the middle of the day waiting for a 1:00 class or learning from a teacher again. I don't know how to describe it really. its just such an adjustment.

its fun right now to look at the people in my class and try and think of their story and what they did before now and how we all ended up here. They seem pretty good, I'm excited to know them more.


I've been thinking of getting a new tattoo. possibly on the top inside of my elbow or possibly on the top of my foot closer to my toes.

I don't have a final design but its definitely going to be something geometric, something symmetrical and balanced. probably with at least one triangle, most likely also a circle. My debate is colour or no colour? IF I do colour I'm thinking only two or two with a small accent of a third colour. Turquoise blue and coral and maybe some yellow. black outline.
I'm picturing what the conversation will go like when I demand to know how much red vs pink is in the coral. oh jeeze.


I feel bad about leaving the last post up for so long without posting something more positive but life was totally amazing and I just didn't even know where to start.

but then. shredded carrots! and I knew.