mindful

I know I'm a little late to the resolutions bandwagon but I want to touch on my word for 2013.

Mindful. Mindfulness.

so what does mindfulness mean to me?

"Mindfulness is the ability to notice what you are experiencing right now. The ability to be aware of what happens to you from moment to moment. You do this is an accepting way, you do not judge."
(from Flow magazine, Feeling better through mindfulness)

I want to be present, aware, constantly noticing. I don't want to miss an opportunity to laugh or give a hug. I want to take time for myself to restore and refocus, but when in the company of others I want them to know I am fully engaged.

I want to limit multi-tasking. focus on one thing, do it properly and efficiently and move on to the next.

eat with purpose.

look for inspiration. go out into the world JUST for inspiration. a walk through the neighborhood  through the magazine isle, through the vegetable section. take time to be inspired and the world will deliver.

accept others for who they are. don't spend energy or time thinking about changing another person. you wouldn't want to be changed, don't create expectations.
do not rely on them for everything but choose skills they excel at and utilize this. it will make both of us happier in the end.

when I read the Happiness Project one thing that really stuck with me is that more happiness is derived from striving to reach your goals then from the moment you finally get there. I need to remember that the end goal is not the only place to find happiness. Happiness comes from every step towards the goal I make. this can be applied all over my life. happiness from going to the gym multiple times a week instead of from a number I will one day achieve. happiness from making beautiful food and sharing it with others. happiness from going to bed knowing I put in a long day of hard work and effort on my homework.
I put off enjoying the everyday happiness in an effort to 'save' it for the big moment when everything comes together. thats backwards. happiness comes every day from working towards my goals and progressing and the trials and from living life today, instead of from that moment when I realize I did it and now theres just another thing to work towards anyway.

use my short term memory more. test myself. learn peoples birthdays and phone numbers.

always hug my friends good-bye.

I'm ready for you 2013.

(image source - mindful mondays)

Theres always time for a list

alright.

its been a while.

I didn't really relise I needed a break until I started to break and just had no interest in going back. I went cold turkey didn't touch a computer for over a week. 12 days to be exact. there were a lot of factors, being home being one of them, christmas, visiting, but the major one was just general lack of interest.

I need to remember that life happens outside of the screen. yes yes yes yes yes I knoooooooow you have to be online for some things but I personally just need to put down the computer, my phone (instagram) and the tv. turn it off. sit for 5 minutes with it off. not distracted. actually wait, be distracted. listen to your body and mind, but don't go behind the screen. be free from it. bake for no reason. repot your plants that are overgrowing. I think its also important to say that it doesn't have to super high productivity time either. I often get suckered into thinking that if i'm not 'relaxing' behind the screen I could or rather, should, be doing something on my to do list. not true. go for a walk. make a craft. fail at making a craft.

that rant was really just so I can remember my point later when I'm stressed and wonder how I got that way.

theres going to be some things I need to remember in 2013 but for now I need to get away from this screen.

second website is live

Just a quick pop in to let you know my second website is done....

HERE IS THE LINK

I had a lot of fun photographing the ingredients for the site. I had a specific vision and sometimes its just easier to do it yourself.

as always, let me know any issues you find with it! Load times okay? (I tried to keep the file size down but its sooooo hard with nice images)

still trying to find a way to upload that flash video cause its pretty neat.

okay back to work.

ALMOST DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNE

what can you do for me?

I'm staying home from school today. for once I'm actually ahead and finished the project thats due in this class and I don't really care to get any feedback on it and as long as its done thats good. (for this class)

its weird to be at home during the day though. I have these dreams of freelancing and living a 'creative' lifestyle and having days filled with coffee and walks and other days working through the night..but is this realistic? Do I actually think I could live that life? I'm not sure.

I'm not sure I couldn't have a steady job and well really a steady paycheque. a lovely steady paycheque.

This year has been good for me though.
(sidenote for anyone new, I quit my job to go back to school and haven't seen a paycheque since)

I've been able to trust myself. I've been able to reel back my 'wants' and 'needs'. Also having the excuse that your in school and you don't have extra money is SO handy to have. I have used it countless times. for example : Christmas! I think its silly to just exchange products. When in other years its been easier to just buy something I do. but no excuse this year, I have the time, I don't have the money, I AM MAKING YOU SOMETHING.

Also it makes me want more for my dollar. yes I will demand you put another handful of pickles on my sub. I will call rogers and ask to have my fee lowered. I asked to have my debit card have unlimited transactions. I asked for an extra $40 off a desk I saw on craigslist. and you know what?! I got every single one of those things. every single one.

want to know what my secret is?

"WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR ME?"

simple simple words that empower people to help you.

seriously. try it. try it for something you wouldn't normally think there is even a way of lowering the cost. the bank? I wouldn't of thought they could negotiate things like that, but they can. everyone can. everyone has power, just give them the chance to prove it to you.

BREAKING NEWS

Baths are awesome. seriously awesome.

I always feel so good after one.

like my muscles and bones are calm. at peace.

then theres this. .   .

the bubbles fizz in my ears. they crackle when I lift my head out of the water. too loud. put my head back in. ahh. the water is still running from the tap. such a waste of hot water. am I really thinking about that right now? relax. there are so many bubbles. more bubbles then I would have put in. oh whatever, they smell warm and light and I'm pretty sure there was a picture of an ice cream cone on the front.

ice cream. what makes an ice cream sandwich good? is it the cookie? or really the cookie texture? I think its the chewy cookie mixed with the soft ice cream. messy but not drippy.
Want to help me with school?
Tell me what you love about ice cream sandwiches in the comments. please?

things I want to do with my christmas vacation -
learn to knit
make a terrarium
hang some art on these walls
rearrange the kitchen cabinets (this has been bugging me forever but its such a big project that I can't really start and not finish so it needs serious dedication)
replant the aloe vera baby plants...maybe gift some?
gym gym gym health kick
a blog every day for a week challenge (going to need your support team)
a lets drink coffee and meet early and plan out goals and blog dreams session with dave cave

baths.......go have one.

Good morning!

Things at school are getting super crazy and I only have two weeks left before Christmas holidays. Saturday night we cleaned and decorated for the holidays and put on christmas music and it was lovely to start to get in the spirit of things. That night a bunch of friends came over for a potluck and we played Would you Rather? the BOARD GAME! I looooove love love board games and this one was awesome. highly recommend. Then we went to the bar near our place and the boys spent all their drink money in the pinball machine ha.

I've been dealing with some health issues and I have another appointment tomorrow after class. I really hope they can figure out whats going on and fix it. Its a rather woman-y problem so I won't get into details but I certainly have come to appreciate the delicate balance our body's must maintain. and I respect my body for doing so good in the past. just now..I feel unbalanced. and confused?

things that have been wonderful -
making pulled pork in the crock pot and remembering how easy it is and how much friggen meat it makes, we have leftovers for dayssss
sitting on the couch in my underwear now that I don't have roomates
finishing projects
GOLD GLITTER PAINT
striking the right balance of drinking but not being hungover
lemongrass essential oil - I added some to my homemade all purpose cleaner and loooove the smell
thinking about having three whole weeks off at christmas
ordering 80% of my gifts from amazon and not having to go shopping
my new booties that my lovely cousin carly got me

Heres a project that I finished for my Flash class. ...I'm not sure if this will work but I'll give it a shot.....

nope...couldn't figure out a way to make this work. I'll keep trying but for now I have to study for my tech final.

xox

crate of large sausages....

Just a quick post today. Mostly to let you know that dave cave answered my question of  how do you know when something is a good idea? in writing form and a video too!

I'm going to warn you about going through his site, lots of naked dude pictures, I've asked him to give me a warning but always always always have to fast click away from his blog in public. haha whatever, I've sort of grown to like those posts (didn't at first, I told you that)

I think whats important to remember about ideas is that you will keep having them. Its not like your brain will dry up and you'll never have another good idea in your life. I mean, I think thats what a lot of us fear, but its really unrealistic to actually happen.

Also school puts a whole new dimension on 'ideas'...because they aren't even ideas anymore, they are school projects. Especially when its a group dynamic and people weigh in on your ideas right away and your brainstorming on the spot and for me that is a tough way to be creative.

I also try and save my ideas for later, especially on this blog, partly because I think I fear ^^ (running out of good ideas) and partly because I am lazy. I think, I'll do that post later, when I'm more organized and have more readers and and and.
and then it never happens because in a couple weeks my mood has shifted and its not the post I want to write anyway.

Must get to school.

Here are the search terms people are using to get to my blog.

these titles are pointless and I never know what to write in them.

so many things in my head right now.

Mostly. ..

ha. yeah. just everything.

always.

I bought a tree. its wayyy to big but I love it. Its sort of like a gawky big bird or something..shrugging in the corner. actually its mostly just like a tree but it has that vibe to me.

we put christmas lights on it to make it more awesome.


I ate something tonight that is NOT agreeing with my stomach. I had the worst pains after dinner.



also my brother moved out last Thursday. its funny because I never realized how different it was having a roommate to not having a roommate (peter doesn't count because I can still walk around in my underwear with him and pee with the door open)

how do you know when something is a good idea?

i am asking this question because I actually want to know the answer. or your rational at least.

what goes through you head?
what are the top priorities?
in what kind of environment do you get your best ideas?
do you love them at first or do you have to warm up to them?
what are they doing now?

for me a million things run through my head. I like to write things down. if im brainstorming every single thing I think about get written down. I like to do that because often my ideas come from other ideas. They take shape from each other.
but other times they just appear. they evolve naturally. they were something that was part of your life and in you and then it was an idea.
usually, I just go on with my daily life and its not until one of those ideas keeps nagging me that I really listen to it. it keeps surfacing. I think about it when theres no reason to think about it. I like it but it scares me. It could work, and thats what makes it alive. different. special. awesome.

cool yeah so I'm working on something.

writing down the bones

I've been reading a book my friend dave cave gave me. shaved paved craved.

Its called Writing Down the Bones, freeing the writer within by Natalie Goldberg. Its also about 2 inches by three inches and a little less then an inch thick, so perfect size to always just always be with you when you happen to have a free moment. 

I'm loving it so much. Its changing me. 

I would usually say something here about how I don't really consider myself a writer or that I don't really care to write a book. First of all, thats my inner critic talking and secondly, that is irrelevant. 

You write everyday. you write emails, tweets, to do lists. you have to write a letter of resignation and we should all be writing more postcards. you don't need to be a 'writer' to write. Its a beautiful thing, writing. 

Her book is so full of advice and is one of those experiences that you find what you need to hear in it. 

"Original details are very ordinary, except to the mind that see their extraordinariness. Its not that we need to go to the Hopis to see greatness; we need to view what we already have in a different way. It is very deep for the Hopis to have a snake dance, but it also is one of their festivals that has been performed every other year for their whole lives. Like any other dance, when it was over, they incited friends to their homes for dinner. If we see their lives and festivals as fantastic and our lives as ordinary, we come to writing with a sense of poverty. we must remember that everything is ordinary and extraordinary. It is our minds that are either open or closed."

"Another thing you should watch out for are questions. If you can write a question, you can answer it. When you are writing, if you write a question, that is fine. But immediately go to a deeper level inside yourself and answer it in the next line. ...Don't be afraid to answer the questions. You will find endless resources inside yourself. "

Question -

I see some people already have their tree up for Christmas. I'm a big fan of a real tree because I love the smell so much.

I feel like the Christmas season just rushes right by so I was thinking of putting up my tree next weekend...but maybe its still to early? HELP