your mind is playing tricks on you my dear

okay okay okay

I had an email blogtervention this morning that is slapping me out of not posting for another day.

the sun is coming in my window and reflecting off my glass coffee table and shooting directly into my eyes. on a side note, glass coffee tables are never a good idea. they always get dirty and they show dust and I've had to upgrade to the industrial size of windex and that bitch is heavy to carry home.

I am going to start making my own cleaning product though. window cleaner, lemon all purpose cleaner, bathroom/grout cleaner, dish soap, hand soap, facewash (already doing that one) shampoo. anything else I can make instead of buying weird chemically options?

So I finished my first website last week. (!) Do you want to see it? http://nmdss.sheridanc.on.ca/~ackermae/euclid_print_shop/index.html  here ya go. on the home page mouse over the circles...I'm not sure if this is intuitive enough, I might change them to always show the text..thoughts?

the content was based off a print shop in kensington but we had to change the name and design a new logo. I guess just in case people are googling it ...I wouldn't want my site to be coming up for them haha.

Now I'm working on a site for a hotel and also starting a site for home made cleaning products (its my new mission)

The lovely Carly came and visited this weekend and it was awesome. we went to see of monsters and men friday night and then saturday went shopping all along queen. we found a gold mine of a vintage store called Public Butter. everything was $20! (and I mean good stuff too, like jean jackets and leather jackets,  $20!!) There website is pretty crap, maybe I will contact them when I finish school haha

also came up with this gem - hot lips big hips sassy tits I don't stop for punctuation period
just yell that out a few times, guaranteed to feel better

Heres a cool website - a softer world

Here's Jonny!

Dave! This morning I woke up early. made coffee! logged into the blog!

what to write what to write.

People are getting so worried about this silly storm. Last night I was supposed to have a midterm and it was cancelled because of the wind warning. I couldn't believe they would cancel a midterm just because of some wind!

In my four years at Humber we never even got one snow day. Not even ONE! and its seven weeks in at Sheridan and we postponed a midterm because of leaves blowing around.

So instead I came home and then we went to the theatre to watch The Shining. WHAT a movie. I'd never seen it before and on that huge screen and Jack is going insane and that scene where they are on the stairs really gets me. he is just so mean to Wendy and menacing and just plays that part so well I was scared for her.

P and I decided if we have a little boy we are going to go as Jack, Wendy and Danny for Halloween. He doesn't have a choice. P would just carry an axe around all night and limp and be generally more crazy then normal and I could find a smock dress in a thrift no problem.

oh and if we had two girls they could play this part.

holy low res photo.

just wasted a good amount of time looking at Shining Gifs.

I'm still trying to watch less tv. yesterday I didn't watch anyway...instead I went into school early to study for a midterm that isn't until next week and at night I just read before bed. Its not that I don't like tv...because I do...I really do..its just its never just one show..its one show and then you want to watch another show and show show show turns into staying up way too late and what even happened?

Shows that I love -
Dexter
Mad Men ...although, to be honest...I need some more drama from this show...the last season was pretty uneventful.
Parks and Rec
The Office
Amazing Race
Project Runway
Workaholics (resisted liking this show at first...but it gets me laughing every time)
Nurse Jackie (I think I'm the only person who likes this show, I've never met anyone else who watches it)
SNL (sunday morning tradition because I can never stay awake that late)

Lately I've been sort of half watching the Walking Dead with Peter and its kind of got my interest but the noise those zombies make have me wanting to rip my ears off. its so gross and they are so brutal in killing them. think like, arrow through the eye ball and machete slicing heads off. its too much for me!

In other non tv and movie news I found this cool site you can play around with type and letters with. Its called Type is Art. 

Heres some examples...bonus points if you can guess which one (s?) are mine...

what are we even watching?

Friday night I was in a mood and decided we watch too much television.

Which is true, kind of. Mostly it was the mood though. I want to spend more quality time together and we have sort of slipped into a habit of eating in front of the TV and watching show after show, even though we don't even have cable.

Anyway, once I had put that challenge out there it was fairly easy to hold out on watching anything.

We had a big-ish fight Saturday night. Which makes this look whole thing look worse then it is but looking back on it now I'm realizing that the same things that put me into that mood were the same things we fought discussed like adults about on Saturday night.

All of which are pretty much cleared up now.

But I mostly started this ramble to talk about what not watching tv for 48 hours taught me.

First, I fill the void with internet. blooooogs and more blogs. find a good blog and kill the whole archive.

2. Thank god for pinterest so I can keep track of the cool stuff.

3. I should write more. Like actually write.

4. I feel like I probably get the same about done, there is just an extra sense of calm when there isn't a television demanding attention.

5. I cook more/better meals.

6. More time for reading and sex. both awesome.

7. It feels like I have more focus, but I'm not sure this is totally because of the Tv thing or possibly due to better time management.

I'm just in love with these two pictures. source 1 and 2  (number 2 is also an autumn playlist! enjoy, its lovely)

at this moment I am

this triangle duvet cover from Urban Outfitters

the idea of a yellow ombre pillow on top of that duvet cover

lattes. dark, bitter and frothy. +

beeswax candles. the scent, the colour, the earthyness of them. I've ordered 7 pounds of beeswax to make christmas gifts with this year. I can't wait to get started.

white, leather and gold jewellery. I need to buy some new jewellery, my outfits are boring without something to mix them up and new clothes aren't really in the budget.

grilled cheese! man we have been eating a ton of grilled cheese here. especially on pumpernickle bread. yummmmmmers.

more coffee. I'm in school, what can I say? Girls gotta stay hydrated.

this lovely iphone case. yellow, grey, wood and TRIANGLES? sold!


Sorry things have been so quiet around here. We have literally re-arranged the whole apartment in the last week. moving shelves, adding a new desk, moving the computer, and purging some of the stuff that wasn't working. its much more productive for Peter and I to work from now. I actually enjoy sitting in the living room and working on projects instead of being along in the bedroom on an uncomfortable chair. Hes been doing a fair amount of video work and with all of my homework our main computer gets a bit of a workout.

it was nice to go home for Peters thanksgiving and then up to my cottage to celebrate with my family. it was a bit of a whirlwind tour, we visited, we ATE and we moved on to the next meal haha. repeat repeat repeat. I must say, as lovely as it is to visit I'm a home body and would rather spend relaxing nights at home with P and his amazing cooking. This is sort of a secret but I don't really even like turkey that much.

I'm almost out of tea from Davids tea and was debating what flavours to get next. For sure I am getting forever nuts, pumpkin chai and banana bread...what others do you love? I'm looking for some more non-caffeinated ones since I usually drink tea at night.

Is there for real a mosquito in my room right now?

I am having a revelation about skin care and time alone tonight.

I don't make enough time for either.

And they are just so important. SO IMPORTANT!

(oh and random sidebar, a few people in the last week-ish have talked to me about my blog in real life and I'm always super awkward about it because ...I don't know...its like my personal ramblings...and my randomness.
and its not like you don't already know that I over analyze evvvvvvvvverything.

actually yes, lets talk about this....

(when the sidebar takes over your post)
(story of my life)
(one more?)

I want to put my thoughts out there. I feel like I need to. but I also just wish it could not be thrown back in my face for ANY reason.

I'm not here to hurt feelings or loose a job or damage future me's potential in any way.

But at the same time, this feels right. this feels like what I am supposed to do. what I've always done with my feelings. WHAT I DO

to other bloggers: do you struggle with this? this worry that your blog will have negative impacts to your real life?

See its so different though. there are less bloggers that share real and honest opinions and how they are really feeling and experiencing. Its just not what makes the money and I get that. totalllllly get it.
I really appreciate those that do though. thank you for letting me into your life.

(side bar in a side bar
(inception of side bars)

In fact, I've been toying with the idea of starting a less personal, more awesome links ...pictures ...recipes...pretty much everything this blog sometimes tries to be but fails.

I just always have to go back to the feeling stuff and its a different release. for a different market.
a different blog.

end second sidebar)

and yep, nothing really to go back to in the first sidebar)

so here we are, back at skin care and time alone.

I'll start with skin care.

I PRESENT TO YOU THE OIL CLEANING METHOD

I'm sold. going to buy castor oil tomorrow. and new washcloths I guess.

But I really feel like this is my THING. my skin has wanted this for so long, it loooooves to be oily and doesn't like me to wash it. which is fine for like weekends at the cottage and camping haha but when I am out in the city all day and apply makeup in the morning (including powder) I just feel like I need to wash my face before bed. that washing it would still be better then not washing it.

but! cleaning it with oil? (and not just olive oil, thats wayyyy to thick for my skin) I'm sold.

(not even actually sold, this will be the cheapest skin care routine I've tried to date)

oh yeah. and time alone? lovely, just lovely.

So many things to say!

mostly though, shredded carrots.

I'm sooooo in love with them.

They are unbelievably tasty. and so cheap!

just shred them up in a food processor, add equalish amounts of olive oil, apple cider vinegar, soy sauce, then some salt and pepper and a herb. the first time I used parsley and this time I used dill and both were rad. oh and like half of small red onion. This time I was so lazy I just dumped the onion down the food processor tube and it did all the work for me in like .8 seconds. They are tangy and a little salty and sour and the soy sauce gives it depth but its light and healthy and you feel great after.


schoooooooooool.

whoa. its even weirder then I thought.

like at first I was all whatever school, its this abstract thing that I'm going to do and was mostly focused on what will happen after the fact and what I will do with the rest of my life but now I'm like a student again with other students haha. this probably makes zero sense. its just like, I can do school, I'm good enough with time management and group dynamics and deadlines but its so weird to be off in the middle of the day waiting for a 1:00 class or learning from a teacher again. I don't know how to describe it really. its just such an adjustment.

its fun right now to look at the people in my class and try and think of their story and what they did before now and how we all ended up here. They seem pretty good, I'm excited to know them more.


I've been thinking of getting a new tattoo. possibly on the top inside of my elbow or possibly on the top of my foot closer to my toes.

I don't have a final design but its definitely going to be something geometric, something symmetrical and balanced. probably with at least one triangle, most likely also a circle. My debate is colour or no colour? IF I do colour I'm thinking only two or two with a small accent of a third colour. Turquoise blue and coral and maybe some yellow. black outline.
I'm picturing what the conversation will go like when I demand to know how much red vs pink is in the coral. oh jeeze.


I feel bad about leaving the last post up for so long without posting something more positive but life was totally amazing and I just didn't even know where to start.

but then. shredded carrots! and I knew.

I wrote that post below and then proceded to drink my face off and fall down a flight of stairs and puke on myself while sitting on a sidewalk, blacking out the entire way home and then again in the bathroom with the door locked and then to top it all off puke again in the bed and then come morning really remember none of this and re-live it through others explanations of my shame and confusion.

I'll probably regret putting that on the internet but also? dont care?
the question marks are meant to confuse you.

what. else.

I'm using this new note app and it lets you either type out the note or just say it and it types it for you or you can take a picture or link a web page and probably even more then that but I'm still sort of new. its called evernote. oh you can also have an online version that syncs with your phone version.
try it. you'll like it.

my latest note:

Did the sun really get stronger or are people just more vain?

good. job.

actually! haha I have no job!! oh right THATS what I came on here to talk about. haaaaa lyfe.

yes so for the first time in like forever (at least 15, which holy fuck was 10 years ago) I am contently unemployed. seems pretty weird for me.

seems like I should have less guilt. I feel incredibly anxious about not working and having an income for the next 8 months. I actually think I really need this though. I need to learn to relax. To slow down and calm down.

and realistically school isn't going to be the most relaxing thing, its just a different channel.

alright enough out of me, I'm going to enjoy the sunshine!

heartless challenge

what a whirlwin lately. I don't know. I'm all over the place.

I'm thinking the loaded thought of leaving my job and receiving my last pay check for the next 8 months is like hugely affecting my better judgement right now.

I'm craving peace, hot sauce, and to re-arrange the apartment.

I feel completely overwhelmed and underwhelmed and its just one of those transitional periods where I look at everything in my life and try and be more streamline. more simple. most satisfying.

some times I think I over analyze. I think way too much about the stupidest shit.
but like, at the same time, I'm always going to be this way so why not try and at least change the things I don't like and move towards a happier self.

or maybe I'm just too hard on myself. or maybe. or maybe.

I've really been trying to channel an inner calm. I feel like its all I have sometimes. sometimes I go so far into my own head there exists a peacefulness. one thousand scenarios that may never happen being played out. A repeating one is where i'm lost in a whitewashed world of sunshine and laundry blowing on a close-line and little toes and blueberry crumble.

I want land. ground. soil. dirt. growth. green.

I'm listening to gold dust woman on repeat. for better or worse, that song fills my bones.

end of an era

hi all. 

I'm officially finished at my work. I'm DONE DONE DONE. 

it was bitter sweet. it was SO hard to say good bye to everyone and know that I won't be seeing them every day anymore but at the same time I am exciting and looking forward to the future so that made it easier.

They were all so sweet and threw a pizza party and bought me an ice cream cake (my fav!) and some school supplies and even some davids tea and one of the bodega travel mugs. so thoughtful. 

today is the first day of my two week vacation. I worked my butt off this summer so I'm happy to just sit back, relax and catch up on some reading. 

I'm actually headed to the cottage right now for the weekend and probably a few more days depending on the weather. my bf from france flew in monday and the two of us have no specific plans so we shall see where the dog days of summer take us. 

this blog may be a little quiet but I'm very excited for september. follow along on my instagram @erynackerman

love you all. xox 

roadtrip essentials..

Sun hat ++

Polaroid Camera ++

Corn Nuts and munchie snacks

Sunglasses (arent these ones rad?! I love the little arrow detail on them) ++

Comfortable jean shorts (so cute with the lace detail) ++

Moleskin journal -  I always get so inspired when I travel and need a place to jot down notes.



We've decided to hit the road and drive to a beach of some sort. Not 100% where we are going and not 100% sure when we are coming back.

but 100% what I needed.

Have a great long weekend!!

xo