baseball for non sporty girls: part one

i've been with my boyfriend for three years, and throughout that time i have been learning about baseball. i had a small introduction when i was much younger as my grandmother lives for the blue jays and i was sometimes treated to sunday games at the skydome. anyway, in the past few years i have actually come to established a real interest in a SPORT. so here is my way of giving back to a sport that has become more then an excuse to tan in the seats and get ice cream. (but thats not a bad perk)

the non-threatening start to learning about baseball:

RBI: runs batted in, this is important for players stats, not really that important other then they have a better chance to hit the ball further. not really into stats, numbers in general- not really my thing. pass.

DH: designated hitter, this is a position on the team, usually reserved for the biggest burliest guys who you look at and wonder how on earth they play professional sports for a living. i see it as they have to be able to hit the ball further then the rest of the players because their running speed is more like a medium trot to the next base. this players only job is to hit the ball, they don't go out onto the field any other time and as far as i'm concerned there is no excuse why they shouldn't be able to do this everytime. but. they don't. and then they are just fat, slow let downs. 

inning: how far along the game is, one is the start and nine is the end of the game. "it was the bottom of the ninth' means it was the end of the last inning, intensity is usually pretty high at that point. oh and also in the seventh inning the blue jays give you a chance to stand up and stretch and not look like a tool (okay you do kinda look like a tool but at least everyone else does too) my advice is to take this opportunity to get up and get the cramps out of your legs because the last couple innings are always the longest and require your full attention. otherwise you'll be dying to make an excuse to stand up and clap later in the game and some asshole behind you will probably call you out on it.

call to the bullpen: is when the coach calls to where the pitchers are warming up (called the bullben)(no idea why) and will request that the next pitcher in line starts to warm up and get ready to come out and replace the current pitcher. usually means the pitcher is sucking big time, the game is going downhill fast and the coach wants to exert some kind of control over the situation. 

and that concludes todays lesson. stayed tuned for part two. GO JAYS GO